Mr Grimshaw's Fine Northern Blog
Made in Blackburn, Built in Sheffield

How do you solve a problem like Chelsea?

Here’s my idea for a Reality TV show, and if anyone wants to pick it up, you’re welcome to it. Week 1: Open auditions, any budding football manager can come and pitch how they would bring success to Chelsea Football Club, those with the right attitude, the right CV and the right experience will be chosen by the show’s 4 judges, John Terry, Frank Lampard, Didier Drogba and head judge Roman Abramovich. Succesful applicants will be taken on to week 2: Boot Camp! Week 2: During boot camp, the candidates are put through a series of gruelling trials. They must coach Chelsea’s junior team with all their tantrums and all the weirdos, managers with too little experience, too little stubble, not enough dress sense and Sven Goran Ericsson are told they won’t be making it through to week 3. Week 3: In a dramatic twist, John & Frank persuade Roman to give Sven a 2nd chance and they’re installed in their Japanese style pods at the Cobham Training Facility Week 4-10: The Live TV Show airs on Sky Sports 5 in 3D, and Chelsea fans are invited to ring in and vote off their least favorite manager.  The 8 remaining managers, Roberto Dimateo, Jose Marinho, Pep Guariola, Rafa Benitez, Gus Hiddink, David Moyes, Sam Allardyce,  are put through their paces each & are set challenges by the judges. They all do well until they have to coach Fernando Torres and they come unstuck as Fernando loses all the balls into the river. Week 11:The show hits crises point as the Chelsea fans have voted off all the managers, leaving just Jose, who storms out when he can’t choose what biscuits are served in the green room.